Well we are back from Disney World. I was hoping to get to write one more post while I was there, but I’m grateful I had the opportunity to really spend some time with my children and my family, it’s a rarity that were all together. While on the trip so many great things happened. As did so many thought provoking things. It was next to impossible to not think about how this trip could have looked like, or remembering that when I was thirteen I was all but banned from family trips due to the fact that I was “out of control” and my parents had no idea how to handle me. In their defense I was, from a very young age I was diagnosed as bipolar. However, I always felt I had “excuses” or “reasons” for why I was behaving the way I was, whether it be drugs and drinking or my family members, anything absolutely anything, I would blame my actions on. I always thought I’d come up with the next great solution to cure me. And for quite some time I did, or so I thought, meanwhile I was still living crazily and “out of control”. As I got older and had my children I experienced psychosis after having both of them, but attributed that to many other things despite what the doctor was telling me. Anyways, while on this trip, I truly remembered quit a bit and got to hear from my family what the past year or so of my behavior has looked like for them, and how they have seen it drastically go down hill and now since being treated continue to get better. Even very small things such as not interrupting someone while they are speaking. It is truly is astonishing what Lithium and Zyprexa can do. This trip was such a reminder of what my life is now and why it is the way it is now. I’ve been trying really hard to focus on my family lately, to really give them my attention, not running around like crazy, but really focusing on what they want to do. I am blessed. But I also know that to continue this path I must continue taking my medications and seeing my doctors who keep me sane. Thank God for them. One of the greatest things about this trip was seeing my children SO happy to meet Queen Elsa and Princess Anna. Seeing the joy they had this entire trip. This trip was amazing. I am yet again reminded that my life can be a normal life. I have Bipolar 1 disorder, however it does not completely define who I am. It is a piece, a rather large one, that is a part of me. As are many other. So the question I keep thinking about is….
Do you let your Bipolar or mental Illness define you?